M is for Marauder
by Mint Pizza Queen
Summary: MWPP Era. A series of drabbles featuring the adventures of the Marauders through their years in Hogwarts. JamesLily. SiriusRemus. COMPLETED.
1. Machinate

**_Author's Note:  
_**_Well here it is! The Marauders edition of the drabble series. Heh. I have a good majority already written out on paper, just not typed. I hope that I'll have this series fully posted in the duration of the week. Which reminds me-- I'm going to be writing a long ass story that a year's worth of work. It'll be actually a fic in the life of Remus in his second year--each chapter a day in that year. I have everything that I need to start writing it but I have some questions: When is Lily's, James's, Sirius's, and Peter's birthdays? I know the years, I need the actual date. If I can't get the real dates, I'll have to resort to making up one for them (which I HATE doing) so if anyone can find out those dates and drop a line I'd be most grateful! Oh yeah, back to this series--uh--there will be some slash later on. There is no set year this takes place in--it's all random. Enjoy! _

_Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling  
_

* * *

**Status:** 1/45**  
Word Count:** 216  
**Theme:** Machinate 

"We should start the school year off with a bang!"

"Or! How about we start the year quietly--make them think we're not there."

"...that's boring!"

"I'm afraid he's right, my dear Moony. As the Marauders, we can't keep quiet. We like loud, shiny, flashy entrances!"

"So let's go in with a bang!"

Remus let out a haggard sigh at the expectant gazes of James, Sirius, and Peter. All three had their eyes wide, watery, and were basically giving the best 'puppy eyes' they could muster. Irritation flooded through him. "Oh come on! Can't we be good for one year?"

Sirius cackled loudly with James and Peter merely grinned. "No, where's the fun in that?"

The quiet boy crossed his arms and huffed loudly. "Oh! Fine then, start the year off with a bang! But I swear, if I find _any _bombs or fireworks going off in my stuff like last year I'll--"

"Relax, Moony, we won't do that again. We only did it because you confiscated our stuff." James grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, so, we decided to get you back! Heh heh, chocolate go 'splodey."

Remus scowled as Sirius continued to cackle about making random things explode, including one Snivellus. Just as long as his chocolate wasn't harmed, he couldn't really care at the moment.


	2. Machree

**Status:** 2/45**  
Word Count:** 276  
**Theme**: Machree  
**Notes: **Machree is an old work that means 'my love'.

"Hi boys!" A group of Ravenclaw girls waved and giggled with smiles on their faces as they passed Sirius and his friends. Sirius gave his trademark smile, instantly sending the girls swooning.

"My, so many pretty girls."

"Why don't you just pick one? They all love you." James nudged the boy with a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, but, they just aren't my type, you know?"

Remus raised an eyebrow skeptically.

Sirius suddenly snapped his fingers. "I know! Since no girl is my type, I'll go gay!" He turned and grabbed James's hands. "James, my love, will you be gay with me?"

James grinned. "Certainly, ma cherie." He replied jokingly.

"We can't forget dear Remus and Peter!" Sirius swiveled so he had an arm around Remus. "Will you join us in our gayness, Rem and Pete?"

Peter squeaked and tried to hide himself while Remus merely smiled as he pulled the offending hand away. "Sorry, Sirius, as of two minutes ago I became asexual."

James sighed mournfully. "I guess it's just you and me, Sirius. Just us and our gay love--" He froze in his speech when a familiar female voice broke through.

"It's a shame, you know. All the good ones are either gay or taken." Lily tisked and shook her head.

The girl walking with her nodded. "Yes, or in this case, both."

Remus and Peter burst into a fit of laughter as James chased down Lily trying to convince her he wasn't gay at all. Sirius was hot on his heels, waving a fist in the air as he yelled 'You two-timer! See if I ever let you in my bed after this one!'


	3. Macrocephaly

**Status:** 3/45**  
Word Count:** 184  
**Theme:** Macrocephaly

"Hey James! I think I know what your problem is!" Sirius slammed a book on the table in front of the boy with a devious grin that could be classified as one of his traditional 'shit eating grins'.

"Problem? I didn't realize I had one." James peered at the book and twitched.

"See? It's got your picture and everything." Sirius pointed at the picture of a random man with a slightly large head with, in large font, 'macrocephaly' written on top.

The glasses wearing boy snorted and narrowed his eyes. "Haha, very funny."

"It fits you to a T though! The large head--"

"Hey, look up something for me. It's what your problem is."

Sirius smirked. "All right then. Tell me."

"It's spelled as such: d-u-m-b-"

Sirius actually started to flip back to 'D's in the book. "D-u-m-b, okay, got that."

"-a-s-s."

"-ass, okay." Sirius repeated as his eyes scanned the page. He stopped just as his search started. "Hey, I'm not a dumb ass!"

"Then what are you?"

Sirius grinned and pointed at himself. "I'm a smart ass!"

James rolled his eyes.


	4. Mad

**Status:** 4/45**  
Word Count:** 182  
**Theme**: Mad

All hell was going to break loose.

Students in the school were in fear of their lives because the Marauders were mad. Not just one, all four of them.

See, Severus 'Snivellus' Snape had decided that it would be a great idea to get revenge by playing dirty. Hitting below the belt, he got his revenge all right. He did so by initiating said revenge on a weak point of theirs--

--Lily Evans.

The moment they four boys saw her crying, covered in a thick, sticky black slime, and was feathered, they all saw red.

Hence why the school was in a panic. Red seeing Marauders was the equivalent of an angry Dumbledore--rare, but extremely hazardous to one's health.

Of course, Snape was oblivious to it all. He was trotting around, large nose stuck in the air, smirking like a kid that just stole Christmas.

Or as least he was until he found himself cornered by Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter and he, himself, was wand-less.

The moment all four drew their wands he knew he was in deep shit.


	5. Madcap

**Status:** 5/45**  
Word Count:** 177  
**Theme:** Madcap

"What is that?"

Sirius grinned proudly as he held out his prize. "A cat!"

James frowned and rolled his eyes. "I know that, what is it doing here?"

"He was alone so I brought him here." Sirius blinked as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Remus remained silent, staring fixedly at the cat. For some reason, that fur ball looked oddly familiar...

"I'm going to keep it and name him...Charlie." The Black held up the feline proudly to the other marauders.

The cat, well, apparently wasn't too fond of changes to its daily routine.

"HISS!" Just as quick as lightning, the cat ran its claws across the offending hands and bolted as soon as all four paws met the floor.

"THAT DAMN CAT!" The Black member seethed. "I'LL KILL HIM!"

Remus snapped his fingers as realization dawned on him. "I thought that I recognized that cat from somewhere! That's one of the seventh year's pets in Slytherin."

"Nice time to tell me!"

"Oh, for the record, he was actually a she."

"Shut up, Remus."


	6. Magazine

**Status:** 6/45**  
Word Count:** 263  
**Theme:** Magazine

"Wow."

"I know, isn't she great?" James turned the page in the magazine and both he and Sirius whistled appreciatively.

"Nice."

"Very."

"You know, stuff this great should be illegal."

James grinned. "Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"

Remus snorted as he turned a page in his potions book. "Everything's all fun and games until someone gets arrested."

"Come on, Remmy, don't be a spoiled sport. Come look, see!"

The boy shook his head. "No thanks."

Peter perked up. "What are you looking at?"

Sirius and James grinned wickedly. "Dirty magazines! You should see these beauties! I want one of these girls, name her Buela, and ride her all night long."

Peter squeaked before his eyes rolled and he dropped into a faint.

Remus stood with a scowl. "Oh! You two! Let me see that!" With that, he stomped across the room and loomed over the two troublemakers.

"Okay! You asked for it." At that, Sirius shoved said magazine into his face.

_'What in Merlin's beard...'_

There, before his eyes, instead of seeing chicks and thongs, Remus saw a motorcycle with shiny wheels, a shiny seat, and well, shiny everything. On the top of the page was written "NEWEST MODEL. LIMITED EDITION" in screaming red letters.

It was a joke. It was a bloody joke, and he fell for it. And apparently, as he spared a glance at the fourth marauder, so had Peter.

"Beauty, isn't she?" Sirius gave a dreamy sigh.

Remus scowled. He grabbed the booklet, rolled it up, and gave both boys a good, loud smack before stomping away.


	7. Magic

**Status:** 7/45**  
Word Count:** 127  
**Theme** Magic

"Abracadabra!"

"Alakazam!"

"Hocus pocus!"

"Presto-chango!"

"Shazam!"

"Sim sala bim!"

"_Tirratarratorratarratirratarratum_!"

James and Peter blinked rapidly and Sirius blinked back at them. "What?"

"What on earth was that one supposed to be?"

"You have to have a magic tongue in order to say that one." He grinned mischievously.

Remus tried to ignore the continuous shouts of random Muggle magic words. It was going good at first, but an hour had passed and it didn't appear that they would be stopping any time soon. He looked up from his book and growled. Idiots, the whole lot of them.

_"Silencio!"__  
_  
Suddenly, all three went quiet. Instead of freezing in horror, all three flailed about with mouths running but all was silent.

Remus smirked with satisfaction. "Only real magic around here."


	8. Magnet

**Status:** 8/45**  
Word Count:** 270  
**Theme:** Magnet

"Gentlemen, and I use that term lightly," Remus stood before his three friends with his hands behind his back and was looking quite pleased. "I would like to present to you a wondrous piece of Muggle technology."

"Television?"

"Internet?"

"What's that?"

"I don't know, I just liked the word." Sirius grinned. "It sounds cool. "In-ter-net. Inner-net. In-her--"

"Yes," Remus twitched with his eyes closed. "We get the point."

"So what is this here piece of wondrous technology?"

Remus held up two small blocks smugly.

Sirius scowled. "I'm too old to play with building blocks."

"Not building blocks, magnets." Remus knelt and placed the magnets onto the floor. "Just watch."

With one block, he gently moved it across the floor towards the other. When it came close, the other magnet scooted way.

Sirius bounded forward. "Wow! Do it again!"

Remus pushed the magnet closer and the other block scooted farther along the floor.

James's eyes glowed. "It's like--it's like Muggle magic, but cooler!"

The sandy-haired boy beamed. "But that's not all, watch this." He turned the magnet around and approached the other. Instead of repelling, the other magnet zipped towards it and glued itself to its mate.

"Sweet!"

"Brilliant!"

Remus stood up with the magnets. "Welcome to the wonderful world of science, my friends. A common course in--"

"Yeah, yeah, blah blah, GIMME!" Sirius pounced and Remus 'oomphed' as an overly large pile grew on his stomach.

"I wanna play!"

"Me first!"

"WANKERS! I got 'em first!"

Remus inhaled heavily as the weight disappeared and watched as his friend fought over the simple Muggle magnets. "Science is dangerous."


	9. Maid

**Status:** 9/45**  
Word Count:** 187  
**Theme:** Maid

Remus was lounging happily on his bed with a good book when Peter, who had been peeking around the room in confusion, popped the question.

"Where's James and Sirius?"

The boy smiled. "They'll be here shortly."

As if on cue, the two entered stiffly. Peter swung his head around only to hold back a giggle. "Oh my."

Sirius's eye twitched. "Don't ask."

"Hey, hey," James turned and shook his rear, ruffling the maid skirt and apron. "Does this make my butt look big?"

Remus snapped his fingers. "No time to worry about enlarged posteriors. Fetch me a chocolate milk." He looked to Peter. "You hungry?"

Peter flushed. "A--well, a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich is fine."

The sandy-haired boy grinned. "You heard him, one chocolate milk and one peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Chop-chop."

Sirius flared. "Why you--!"

James grabbed his arm and dragged him out. "A bet's a bet, and we lost. Deal with it like a man."

"How can I when I look like a woman!?"

"Oh come now, Sirius, it's not like you're any different than how you usually are."

"WHAT!?"


	10. Mail

**Status: **10/45**  
Word Count:** 228  
**Theme:** Mail

"Uh oh."

"Remmy, my boy, is that what I think it is?"

"It...it appears to be a Howler."

Indeed, it was a Howler. Unsigned, it laid innocently on his empty plate, which normally was heaping with pancakes, hash browns, and bacon. Obviously, this wasn't normal because one; Remus's plate was void of food and two; Remus got a Howler.

Oh good golly, the world was going to end.

"Open it!" James urged impatiently, glee covering every inch of his face. "Wait, maybe we should fetch Sirius. He'd LOVE to see this."

Remus frowned. "No, he'd enjoy it too much." He hesitantly reached for the red envelope when it suddenly flew into the air and transformed into an angry, snarling mouth.

"REMUS J. LUPIN, YOU BLOODY WANKER! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! OH NO, I WAS WRONG. YOU BLOODY PRAT, YOU INTENTIONALLY DIDN'T GO TO HOGSMEAGE WITH US SO WE'D OVER STUFF OURSELVES WITH SWEETS AND GET SICK, WASN'T IT? YOU WANKER! NOW I'M STUCK IN THE INFIRMARY WITH MISS PEACHY WHO WON'T HEAL ME BUT WILL WITH EVERYONE ELSE! YOU WANKER! I'LL REMEMBER THIS! YOU PRAT, I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE!"

Finally, the letter sputtered, shriveled, and exploded into a pile of confetti. Remus was distraught while James and Peter found this overly amusing.

"I'm going to kill him."

"If you do, mind if I have his worldly possessions?"


	11. Malapropism

**Status: **11/45**  
Word Count:** 186  
**Theme:** Malapropism

"You're an idiot."

Sirius placed a hand to his chest. "Idiot? Moi?"

Remus leveled a glare. "I just reread your essay that you were assigned during McGonagall's detention. I think I lost a thousand brain cells reading this--thing."

The Black gave an offended glare. "What are you incinerating?"

The sandy-haired boy gave a blank stare. "Incinerating? I'm not burning anything--oh! It's insinuating, you prat!"

"I resemble that remark!"

Remus bit the inside of his cheek. "It's I _resent _that remark." He snorted at Sirius's idiotic nature and was asking himself what the hell had Sirius drunk that morning. "Sirius, dear, tell me, what did you get into this morning?"

"Huh?"

"You're acting like a bigger idiot that usual."

Sirius huffed. "Well, can't even have a decent conversation with you without being called an idiot. I'm not going to make a skeptical of myself. Good day!" He stuck his nose in the air and marched towards the portrait exit.

Remus broke down and began to laugh. "It's _spectacle_, you wanker, and don't go reading the dictionary if you're not going to read the definitions first!"


	12. Malarkey

**Status: **12/45**  
Word Count:** 172  
**Theme:** Malarkey

"Good day, ladies and gentlemen!" James flopped over the back of the couch in the Gryffindor common room and laid his arms on the shoulders of Peter and Sirius with a broad grin. "Wonderful day, eh?"

"It is sunny--" Peter began but was cut off.

"The elves made delicious pie again! The pumpkin juice is much juicier than usual, wasn't it? It did taste a bit more tolerable."

Remus peeked up from his book and Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't like pumpkin juice--"

"Ah, homework was dreadfully easy, I can't believe I managed to get it all done, and in less than an hour!" He gave a loud sigh before jumping up. "Well, ta-ta! Nice talking with you!" With that, he leapt over the couch and bounded out of the room.

Sirius and Peter exchanged looks before turning to Remus who was holding back a scoff. "What was that all about?"

Remus licked his thumb and turned a page. "Lily said hi to him at breakfast."

"Ah."


	13. Malevolent

**Status: **13/45**  
Word Count:** 155  
**Theme:** Malevolent

"This is bad!"

"I know!"

"It's so evil, even I can't stand it!"

"Me neither!"

"It's unbelievable!"

"I know!"

"It's the spawn of Satan!"

"It's that evil?"

"Yes!"

"Guys," Remus raised his head groggily with a half-hearted glare. "It's only a cold. I'll be better tomorrow, so do shut up and let me rest."

Sirius waved his arms spasmodically. "I told you the elves were evil! I told you! That cookie was rigged with poison! I just know it!"

The sandy-haired boy groaned. "It wasn't the cookie. I'm sick because I was foolish to stay outside in the rain for over three hours last night, so do leave the elves alone and shut up."

"But Remuuuus--"

"QUIET."

"You know, Remus is scary when he's mad."

"Saying that isn't helping you out of your grave, you do realize that?"

"Bollocks, I'm right though."

"Remus! Let him go, he's just an idiot! He can't help himself!"


	14. Malinger

**Status: **14/45**  
Word Count:** 302  
**Theme:** Malinger

"Rise and shine, chaps, it's a beautiful morning!" Sirius threw open the curtains to the dorm and instantly blinded himself. "Ouch, bright light! Bright light!" Quickly, he closed the curtains, hissing distastefully.

"So much for beautiful morning," Peter muttered from his bed with a glare towards Sirius. "I think I lost two-thirds of my eyesight just then."

"Mmmphfgglily..." James mumbled in a drool-inducing daze.

Sirius grinned. "At least we know what he thinks about while he's sleeping."

"He thinks about her all the time," Remus pointed out, crawling out of his bed. "Except for when it's time to eat. Then he thinks about how many people he can put mashed potatoes down the shirts of."

Sirius grinned. "Well, let's get the day started! It's going to be a busy one!"

"Yes, for once you're right," Remus pulled on a clean pair of trousers. "We have tests in everything today. I hope you studied last night while I was out."

Sirius paled. "Uh--I just remembered something. I'm not feeling all that well--slightly woozy, you know?" He pulled down the blankets on his bed and crawled under them. "You go on ahead without me, I'll see you tomorrow."

Remus snorted. "So you didn't study."

"Noooo..."

"You're fault. Now come on!" He grabbed at the blankets only to be pushed away. "Getting forceful, eh? I can deal with that." He pounced onto the bed.

"AH! REMUS! GET OFF!"

"You take these tests like a man!"

"I can't! I'm scared!"

"Mmmmphfgglily--BLOODY HELL WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Remus is curing Sirius of his morning sickness."

"WHAT?"

"See, you're all better now! If you can strangle Peter like that, I'm sure you'll ace the tests!" Remus clasped his hands happily and Sirius continued to strangle the poor boy till he was blue in the face.


	15. Mandatory

**Status: **15/45**  
Word Count:** 290  
**Theme:** Mandatory

"SIRIUS BLACK!" The three boys in the dorm jumped when the door suddenly slammed open forcefully, revealing one Remus Lupin--flaring nostrils and blazing eyes included.

"Eh, yes?" He asked innocently, swatting at a fly.

"YOU--" Remus pointed at him with a twitching finger. "BATH, NOW."

"Why?"

"Because you smell! You're attracting flies for crying out loud!" He spat.

"Am not." He swatted at a fly.

"Yes, you are! Bath! Now!"

Sirius huffed, standing to his full height. "No."

James and Peter gasped and looked quickly to see what Remus's reaction would be. The boy looked calm enough, but under the surface, they could tell he was furious. "Excuse me?"

"I didn't stutter, I said no. No, as in a negative, not willing to accommodate. No, as in--"

Sirius suddenly found himself floating three feet above the floor and Lupin's wand was aimed at his head. "You will go into the bathroom and you will shower! You smell like moldy cheese and something else rancid."

The Black harrumphed. "It's not like showers are required or anything."

"They are if you're in the same dorm as me!" Remus spat. "Now go!" He flicked his wand and Sirius flew headfirst into the bathroom.

"You're a prat! And I'm not showering! As long as there's nothing saying I got to shower, I'm not doing it!"

Remus suddenly flicked his wand again and a stamp appeared with an ink pad. He marched across the room into the bathroom blazing with fury. "You want it, you got it!" He slammed the stamp onto the ink pad and pressed it onto Sirius's forehead. "Showers-Mandatory. WANKER." With that, he marched out.

"Aaaaah, Remus! It'll stain!"

"It won't if you get into the shower and clean up!"

"Meanie!"


	16. Mangy

**Status:** 16/45**  
Word Count:** 173  
**Theme:** Mangy  
**Notes:** bumblefly was impatient and demanding an update. Well, she got one...two...okay, five. _(Pouts) _

"Look at yourselves!" Remus let out an exasperated growl and threw his hands up in the air. "Covered head to toe in mud! How you got into the castle without McGonagall hexing you guys into next semester is beyond me!"

Peter scratched the back of his head awkwardly and winced when caked mud fell to the floor in gobs. "Uh--well, we were stealthy."

Remus looked skeptical. "Stealthy?"

"Mud makes very good camouflage my dear Remus!" Sirius attempted to throw an arm over the clean boy's shoulder but the boy was quick and dove out of reach.

"Don't touch me you mangy mutt!" He hissed. "You three are to bathe at once!"

The three exchanged looks before looking pointedly at Remus.

"But Remmie-poo," James extended his arms in a welcoming hug. "We love you so much!"

"Join us, Remmie-poo!" Sirius puckered his lips and batted his eyelashes.

"Oh Remmie-poo!" Peter squealed, which was apparently their secret cue because all three pounced on the poor boy.

"EW! GROSS! YOU THREE ARE SO DEAD!"

"Remmie-poo!"


	17. Manicure

**Status:** 17/45**  
Word Count:** 386  
**Theme:** Manicure

"I feel--" Peter observed his nails and beamed. "Pretty!"

"Pretty Pettigrew, fine choice of words." Lily smiled as she filed a nail into a smooth arc.

Remus stared down at his hand and blinked rapidly. "Why am I here?"

"Because I agreed to go to Hogsmeade with James if and only if you all had manicures done by me." The red head looked up and smiled.

The sandy-haired boy grinned sheepishly. "It's not that I don't like it--heavens no, I like the idea of being pampered every once in a while. It's just--it's awkward because I have never been pampered like this before."

"You should come with us when we go to the Muggle malls!" Lily exclaimed, waving around her file. "We have field days! Getting makeovers! Facials! Going to get our hair done is especially fun."

Remus's eye twitched and James, eager to please Lily, burst in. "We should all go!"

"DON'T YOU DARE VOLUNTEER ME." Sirius growled from his spot in the corner. He was glaring daggers at his toenails, which were painted an elaborately bright shade of pink. "It's bad enough I had--THIS--done, and now you're saying to go get my hair frilled and puffy? I don't think so. I'll jump off the Astronomy Tower before I do that."

"But it'll be fun and--"

"IT'S BAD ENOUGH I HAD A MANICURE! SIRIUS BLACK'S DON'T GET MANICURES!" He bellowed, waving his hands and showing off the bright purple on his fingernails.

Remus waved his free hand nonchalantly. "Oh Sirius, darling, that is a _fabulous _shade of purple! Wherever did you find it? I want it!"

"I hate you, Remus, but I mostly hate you, James." Sirius's gave him the evil eye before proceeding to pout in the corner. "I'll get this crap off before breakfast tomorrow."

Lily waved the three in and the boys popped in close. She smirked and whispered. "What he fails to realize is that I used charmed polish on his nails. Won't come off unless I want to take it off."

"You're evil," Peter's eyes widened.

"That's bloody brilliant," Remus grinned, glancing over to Sirius who was trying to chip off the paint.

"I love you, Lily." James bowed before her. "I worship the ground you walk on."

She beamed. "Thank you. Next victim!"


	18. Map

**Status:** 18/45**  
Word Count:** 230  
**Theme:** Map

"Hey, Remus," Sirius popped up behind him and peered over his shoulder. "Whatcha doing?"

Remus made a simple sketch of a line and peered back at the boy. "Making a map."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I keep mixing up the rooms in the third corridor." He frowned. "It's really aggravating."

Peter looked up from his Potions essay. "Hey, you should mark that secret room in that corridor on the map. Just so we don't forget."

James popped in at that moment. "Map? Somebody say map?"

Remus groaned. "Yes, well--I was simply making a map of--"

"Of the castle?" James grabbed the parchment and turned it at various angles. "That's a thin castle, eh Remus? Shouldn't it be a bit bigger here?"

"It was supposed to be of just one hallway," the sandy-haired boy made to grab the paper but Sirius nabbed it before he could.

"Hey, we should work together and make a map of the _whole _castle! Secret passages, secret rooms, ways to get to Hogsmeade," He cackled. "It'll be so cool!"

Remus grabbed the paper and glared. "Oh sure, why don't we throw in the ability for the map to tell where everybody in the castle is!"

"That's brilliant too, Remus! Add that in!" Sirius pounced onto the table and grabbed a quill. "Quick! I need paper! Let's get working!"

And thus began the start of a legend.


	19. Marauders

**Status:** 19/45**  
Word Count:** 186  
**Theme:** Marauders

"We're cunning--we could be the 'coons!"

"Coons?"

"Yeah! Raccoons as cunning, so we could be coons!"

Awkward silence.

"Okay, uh--no, James."

"We're stealthy--we could be ninjas!"

"Absolutely not, Sirius."

"We plunder."

"Not like we _steal_."

"No, we do steal. But not entirely by force." A sigh. "I still feel horrible for all that we've done."

"Come off it, Remus. We need a catchy name!"

"Shut up, Sirius. I'm thinking."

"Think harder!"

"I can't with you shrieking in my ear, you prat!"

"I'm not shrieking you wank--" Muffled noises.

"Thank you, Peter."

"No problem. Uh--just a few words?"

"Certainly."

"We move around a lot--it's like a thing we like to do. We sort of maraud, wander, travel--"

"Wait, what was that first word?"

"Uh--m-maraud?"

"Yes! Maraud!" A slam of a fist on the table. "The Marauders!"

"Mara-who?"

"The Marauders! We wander, we plunder, we're a band of nobodies. The Marauders!"

"Whoot! I feel like a Musketeer now! Do we get to wear fancy trousers like they do and shout 'all for one, and one for all'?"

"Um--no."

"Darn."


	20. Marshmallow

**Status:** 20/45**  
Word Count:** 350  
**Theme:** Marshmallow

"Sirius, no, don't--SIRIUS BLACK, DON'T YOU DARE!" A hand slapped away another harshly as it reached for the bag of fluffy marshmallows. "I am going to do a demonstration first, and _then _you can have one."

"But--they look so fluffy!" Sirius pouted, eying the bag hungrily, but not necessarily because he _was_ hungry--more like yearning.

Remus twitched. "First thing's first--oh drat--" The boy threw his hands up in the air. "I'll be right back. I left something we need back in the common room. Don't do anything until I get back." With that he left--

--leaving the bag of marshmallows out on the table within Sirius's reach.

The Black eyed the bag, then looked over to James and Peter who were staring at the bag as well.

"So..."

"Um..."

"Yeah."

Sirius grabbed the bag and tore the end open. "Don't do anything, he says, BAH! Load of good that does to me!" He took two of the puffy items out and placed the bag back onto the table. "Hey! They are incredibly squishy!" He squeezed one between his index and thumb on each hand. "Reeeeally squishy." He squeezed again and grinned. "Hee...squish."

James laughed. "They look like albino boogers--in a weird way."

The Black stopped and stared.

James and Peter stared back.

Dawning comprehension appeared on James's face. "Oh golly--"

"Should I?"

The Potter boy waved a hand. "Do what you want--you do anyway."

"What's he going to do?" Peter looked confused until a marshmallow began to take flight to nowheresville. "Oh no--"

James stifled a cackle as Sirius proceeded to do just exactly what he wanted.

It was also conveniently at the same moment that Remus decided that now would be a good time to reenter. "All right, I got--MERLIN'S BEARD, SIRIUS BLACK YOU TAKE THOSE MARSHMALLOWS OUT OF YOUR NOSE THIS INSTANT! THAT IS UTTERLY DISGUSTING!"

"Remus! They're stuck!"

"DON'T LOOK AT ME! I'M NOT SHOVING MY FINGERS UP YOUR NOSTRILS! YOU DO IT!"

"I don't _want _to pick my nose!"

"WELL DON'T SHOVE THINGS IN IT!"


	21. Masquerade

**Status:** 21/45**  
Word Count:** 490  
**Theme:** Masquerade

"Take it away!"

"Drink it!"

"No! Remus, don't make me drink it, please!"

Remus smirked at the panicking Black and gave him a push towards the vial. "Oh come now, Sirius, it can't be that bad."

Sirius twitched as James swirled the contents and shoved it in his face. "Ack! No! I will never drink it! Ever!"

"Why ever not?"

"It's got Snivellus in it!" He turned to scramble away but found Remus wrapping his arms around him to hold him in place. "I would never touch anything like that! It's--NASTY!"

Peter grinned at him. "Oh come off it! You lost that game fair and square, and you have to do what the winner ordered!"

James beamed. "And I order you to drink this and prance around. Now," He placed the lip of the vial close to Sirius's mouth. "Here comes the choo-choo!"

There was a momentary lapse of awkward silence as everybody stared at James.

He blinked. "What?"

Remus sighed. "I'll tell you what the problem is, Sirius--is a pansy."

_"WHAT!?"_

Remus made a dramatic wave of his arms to show how disappointed he was. "And here I was, proud to be friends with him and all along he was a pansy. Oh, woe is me, why did I have to befriend him? We should've invited Lily, she could've taken this like a man, unlike Sirius here." At this, he turned and beamed at Sirius.

The Black's eyebrow twitched as he snapped out and grabbed the flask. "All right, Remus, I get it. Shut up. I'll drink the stupid stuff." With that, he gulped it down.

A few moments passed as he stood still. He smacked his lips and wrinkled his nose. "Snivellus--ugh. Not my flavor." He looked to the others and saw their expressions of glee. "Did it work?"

"Work, it bloody well did!" James chortled. "Do something stupid, quick!"

Sirius grabbed the hem of his robe and twirled it. "My name is Snivellus Snape and I like to pick my nose and skip through tulips in my knickers."

James exploded. "AAH! Go to the Great Hall and do some more!"

"What if the real Snape walks in?" Remus spoke.

Peter coughed and innocently twirled his wand in his hand. "He's currently indisposed in the fourth floor storage closet. He'll be out at around, let's say--lunch time."

James beamed. "Told you he would make a star pupil! Now, anyway," He pulled out the invisibility cloak. "Better put this on till we get you out into the hallway. People will think something's off if there's a Snape wandering around in the Gryffindor common room."

Sirius cackled wickedly. "Those snakes won't know what hit them!" With that, he threw the cloak over his head and dashed out.

Remus tilted his head thoughtfully. "Do you propose we follow him?"

James dug through his trunk and pulled out a camera. "Follow? I bloody well say so! Let's go!"


	22. Masters

**Status:** 22/45**  
Word Count:** 373  
**Theme:** Masters

"Oh yeah," Sirius jumped onto his bed and rolled around. "That was brilliant! Did you see the look on Snivellus's face when he opened that box?" He cackled before folding his hands to rest his hand on them. "Oh yes, I am the master."

James scowled. "Master? Master of what?"

Sirius grinned. "Master of pranks, of course."

"No way, I am!"

"Yeah, James is!" Peter stood up and pointed to the Potter, whose head suddenly expanded with his ego and was flexing his muscles in a show of his greatness.

"You tell him, Peter." James grinned, eyes narrowed to slits as he glanced back at Sirius in a challenging fashion.

"Sod off, you two, you're both full of yourselves. I am the master, and there's nothing you can say or do that'll change it."

"Actually, you are all wrong." Remus spoke up from behind his book without glancing up. "I am the Master."

"How so?" All three asked in unison.

"Four good reasons. Number one, who is the one who created and perfected the art of the singing underwear chandelier?"

"You." Peter spoke up quietly.

"Number two, who is the one who pranked McGonagall in first year?" He glanced up at this, eyes twinkling.

James pouted. "You. I would've gotten her, but she knew that I was up to something."

"No excuse, to be master you have to be stealthy and people can't be on to you." Remus turned a page and continued. "Number three, who is the one who does all the research to make sure any and all pranks are perfect and foolproof?"

"You." Sirius stuck his tongue out at the boy.

"That's right, and if you notice, all the pranks that I come up with--" He sat up. "Never backfire. Always go through. Never get caught. Amazing, isn't it?"

"Oh hush up, oh mighty one."

"You hush. Now finally, number four, who was the one who found secret passage to Hogsmeade?"

"You." All three murmured.

"Exactly. By default, since I found the route to Hogsmeade, our number one source for items for pranks, I win by default." He snapped his book shut and smirked. "Master, indeed."

"You're far more egotistical than James here, and that's saying something."

"Sod off."


	23. Matchmaker

**Status:** 23/45**  
Word Count:** 405  
**Theme:** Matchmaker

"Remus! Help!"

Remus jumped up, startled. "What, what is it?"

Sirius pounced at him and clung to his clothes. "It's James, he's--he's--"

"What, what's wrong?" The werewolf panicked.

"He's in love."

The boy stared incredulously before he snarled. "Sirius! I thought something was wrong!"

"There is something wrong! He's in love! With Lily!"

"There is nothing wrong with love, Sirius," Remus pried off the boy and threw him to the ground. "Now stop acting like a prat and leave him be."

"You don't understand," At that, Sirius pounced right back at him and shoved right into the werewolf's face. "When James finds a fascination for something, he'll try everything in his power to get it. When he falls in love with somebody, he'll stop at nothing to get them. He had this crush, see, and it nearly tore him apart when she got together with this Ravenclaw bloke. Tore him, I say, tore him! We have to help him!"

Remus blinked. "So James has a problem with finality? So what?"

"No no no! James is lonely, haven't you seen how his efforts in pranking have deteriorated?"

Remus paused. "Well, he hasn't really been participating in them much."

"Exactly! He's depressed! He's lonely! Sad! Full of anguish! He's in need of some loving! And only that bird, Lily," Sirius hissed. "Can provide that."

"My, Sirius, I thought you hated Lily."

"I do, but for James, I'll tolerate her. Now, we have to set them up."

"You mean get them on a date together?"

"Yes."

"No."

"No?" Sirius's eyes widened. "You--you don't care if something happens to James, do you!? I knew it! Remus! You're evil!"

The boy held up a finger threateningly. "Not evil, just ahead of the game. And I think you're missing a few things in there."

"Eh?"

"James has been pining after her for years, he's asked her everyday to go out with her, and he hasn't had a cataclysmic meltdown yet," Remus counted down. "I think he's fine."

"But--"

"Besides," Remus grinned with mischievousness. "I saw a certain red-head ask a certain bloke to go to Hogsmeade with her this weekend."

Sirius's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "You mean--"

"Lily's smitten with our James as well."

At that, Sirius dropped to his knees and cried out. "No! James, come back! You'll be lost among the dirty diapers and gossiping women forever!"

Remus chuckled. "Drama queen."


	24. Meditate

**Status:** 24/45**  
****Word Count:** 177  
**Theme:** Meditate

"Sirius, what are you doing?"

The black haired boy furrowed his brows, and then opened one eye to glare at Remus. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm meditating."

The sandy haired boy gave him a look. "That's what I mean. Why are you meditating?"

"Because I want to." The Black closed his eye again and gave a low hum as he pursed his lips.

Remus blinked at him. He then shifted awkwardly when a group of seventh years walked by pointing and laughing at them. "Sirius, wh--"

"Silence fool! You are interrupting my spiritual juice flow! Be gone!"

"I--"

"Spiritual juice blockage!"

Remus threw his hands up in surrender. "All right, I'm going. Let me know if you're reached some sort of spiritual revelation or something." With that, he stalked off irritably.

Just as he disappeared, James appeared in his place. "Hey, Sirius, any ideas yet?"

The Black opened one eye and smirked. "My spiritual juice flow says that we will need more dung bombs..."

James gave him a thumbs up. "On it."


	25. Mellow

**Status:** 25/45**  
****Word Count:** 339  
**Theme:** Mellow

"Something's up with old McGoogles."

Remus looked up from his Transfiguration homework and scowled. "Don't be so disrespectful. It's McGonagall."

Sirius waved a hand. "Yeah, yeah. I love her too, but seriously--is it just me or has she gotten a little--" He leaned forward and made his eyes widen in mock horror. "--sweeter?"

James gasped and covered his mouth in mock terror. "You--you don't mean--"

Sirius nodded gravely. "Yes, I do mean _that._ I just--didn't think that it would come--so soon, you know?"

Peter gave them a confused look. "What? What has come? What are you talking about? Maybe she's been having really good luck lately, you know."

The werewolf snapped over his quill. "Nothing has come and yes, Peter, thank you for being optimistic. Knowing these two wankers, they're probably trying to scheme a way into getting her to be a lively, cheerful, amnesiac old lady who'll never teach Transfiguration again and therefore, not have any homework for her class." He twitched. "Idiots."

"Remus, I'm hurt," James' lip trembled slightly as Sirius pounced at Remus' bed.

"Oi! That's a good idea! Quick James! Write it down before we forget!"

"Lay one hand on her and I'll destroy that precious little stash that you hide under your socks that you think no one knows about." The werewolf raised an eyebrow as Sirius visibly wilted.

"How--how--"

"It's simple, really. But never mind that. The only thing wrong with her is that she hasn't tried to kill you, what with you being a nuisance and all. I'd say that McGonagall's become sweet from how she was in first year."

There was a moment of silence in the room, which was instantly broken by James who was grinning.

"You know, using sweet and McGonagall in the same sentence reminds me of a really bad Muggle date that I saw the other day--"

"James, drop it."

"But it was so funny! That lady was so wrinkly that I thought she was a turkey!"


	26. Memory

**Status: **26/45**  
****Word Count:** 209  
**Theme:** Memory

James has a box under his bed.

It's small and plain, but it's the perfect size and the perfect box.

It fits everything that he wants in it.

It holds photos, books, random articles of clothing, gum wrappers, and pieces of parchment with scribbled notes.

It holds all the different signatures from friends he made over the years, but mostly from his three closest friends. There are a lot of items in the box that represent each one--a chocolate wrapper that represents Remus, a Muggle bottle cap collection that represents Sirius, and pieces of wands that represents Peter (from all the times he went and destroyed his while trying to hex Snape).

It holds other items too, like notes from Lily calling him a 'bloody wanker' or a 'stupid git' and death threats from Snape with childish animated drawers of a stick figure Snape zapping a stick figure James (this, he thinks to himself, has to be one of the best pieces of animation of all time and hopes Snape won't mind if he keeps it--just for a good laugh every now and then).

The box is small and plain, but James likes it that way.

It holds all the best memories, more than any pensieve could.


	27. Mess

**Status:** 27/45**  
Word Count:** 352  
**Theme** Mess

This was not happening.

This was not _seriously _happening.

He opened his eyes, then immediately closed them.

Oh Merlin's beard, it _was_ happening.

With anxiety building in his stomach, he forced his eyes open to the impending doom and instantly found himself resisting all temptation to jump out of the closest window.

"Guys," he began, soft and low with a dangerous ring to his tone. "Why does our room look like this?"

Sirius, being the bravest fool of the foolish bunch there, shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't know, ask James."

James began to sweat profusely. "Leave James out of this one, James doesn't want to die."

Peter tried to make himself as small as possible without actually disappearing.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "I'm gone for what--a night, a night, I might add, where we know it comes once a month. All previous nights had been fine--the room was in order and nothing was destroyed. Why, may I ask for my own curiosity's sake, does the room suddenly look like you had a dung bomb war in here?"

"Because we did!" Sirius chirped in happily. "I'm so happy! You guess right on the first try. Aren't you proud James? I am. I'm so proud. Our Remus knows what a dung bomb war looks like. We should celebrate with another war."

"NO!" Three voices cried out at once, and all eyes looked at each other with surprise. James coughed and Peter pulled at the collar of his shirt. Remus merely furrowed his brow.

"Next time you're going to have a dung bomb war, don't do it in our dorm."

The three boys wilted sadly.

"Do it in the Slytherin common room, and don't you DARE do it without me, you here? I'll eat you on the next full moon if you do."

Sirius and James laughed nervously and Peter paled.

They were thrilled about being let off the hook easily, but weren't so sure if Remus was joking about the eating on the full moon part.

They weren't going to take any chances though, by golly.


	28. Messieurs

**Status:** 28/45**  
Word Count:** 225  
**Theme** Messieurs

"Bosses?"

"No."

"Gods?"

"Never in your lifetime--"

"--how about afterlife?"

"..."

"Sirius, I think Remus is going to strangle you."

The Black threw up his hands. "Well, we've got to have something! We can't be just--I don't know, Black, Lupin, Potter, and Pettigrew. Our map is fancy and cool. We've got to have cool titles."

"Sir Idiot Black," Remus suggested. "It suits you."

Sirius scowled. "Messier Black would like to suggest to Messier Lupin to close that wide, gaping hole called a mouth before he catches flies."

James snapped his fingers. "Sirius, you're a genius!"

"I am not!" He scowled. "Oh wait, yes I am! What did I do?"

"Messier. It sounds cool, and--it's fancy." James wiggled his eyebrows. "I'd like to hear Lily say that. I wonder how it would sound rolling off her tongue."

Sirius gagged and Peter snickered while Remus rolled his eyes. "It would sound like a cat choking on a mouse because she would rather choke herself and die than to ever call you Messier Potter."

"She would say it! She's got manners!"

"For everyone except you of course."

"Oh, Remus, look at what you did," Sirius gave him a look. "You made James go and pout in the corner. I swear, if he gets any of that angst on my bed, you're cleaning it off."


	29. Mimic

**Status:** 29/45**  
****Word Count:** 193  
**Theme** Mimic

_**SLAM!**_

"Sirius Black! What are you doing?!"

Sirius turned and beamed. "Hello there Remus! How is the fine weather today?"

"Don't you hello fine weather me!" The werewolf poked at the other boy's chest. "What do you think you're doing?"

The dark haired boy feigned innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You stole my shoes!"

"Well--"

"And my robe!"

"Well you did tell me to walk around in your shoes for one day, and the only way to do that is--to be in your shoes of course!" He threw his hands up in the air happily. "I'm walking in your shoes, Remus! Aren't you happy? I'm knowing what it's like to be you! And to be you even better, I'm wearing your robe!"

"And shirt."

"And pants!"

"And socks--" Remus' angry look was replaced quickly with worry. "Are you also wearing--"

Sirius nodded, quite pleased with himself.

"I don't want them back."

"Good! I wasn't going to give them back anyway, they are very comfortable. What does your mother use to wash them? They don't itch like mine do."

"...that's gross on a large scale of nasty."


	30. Mint

**Status:** 30/45**  
Word Count:** 330  
**Theme** Mint

Remus was relaxing (for once) on his bed with a great book to read. He had finished all his homework, his friends were quiet (scheming most likely, all though unlikely since James wasn't around), and nothing was being destroyed (courtesy of his friends being...good).

That ended fairly quickly when the door flew open and a wide-eyed with panic James sprang in. "I need your guys' help!"

Remus groaned softly but complied anyway. "What's wrong, James?"

"It's Lily! She says--well, we were about to kiss, right? But before we did she stopped me and said to use a mint!" He panicked again. "Guys! What's a mint?!"

Sirius gurgled. "Mint! Oh Merlin's beard no! Don't do it James! Whatever you do, don't take a mint! It'll kill you!"

His eyes widened. "Wha--"

"They're highly toxic! Deadly! It'll kill you in seconds! Oh dear, I thought she loved you James! She lied! Lily dearest lied to you! She wants you to die, James! Don't do it, James!"

Remus snorted and ignored Sirius' rant and James' frightened squeaks as he dug through his parcels to retrieve a little tin.

"So she lied to me?" James' eyes widened as they watered. "She--she doesn't love me?"

Sirius shook his head. "I guess not if she said to take a mint."

Just as James was about to go into a breakdown, Remus stepped in. "James, he's lying. Lily wanted you to take a mint, yes, but they are not deadly."

"But--"

"This--" Remus held up a small, neatly wrapped piece of candy. The package crinkled between his fingers as he placed it on the palm of the boy's hand. "--is a mint. It makes your breath fresh and good."

James, wide eyed with shock, turned and glared instantly at Sirius, who in turn look sheepish.

"Did I say that the mint would kill you? Heavens no, I meant that the girls would kill you. Highly addicted to that stuff they are."


	31. Misconstrue

**Status:** 31/45**  
Word Count:** 130  
**Theme:** Misconstrue

"A problem?"

Remus nodded.

"Really serious?"

He nodded again.

Sirius tapped his chin. "Does it have to do with you disappearing once a month at sunset?"

Remus gulped and nodded--again.

The chin tapping continued. "Let's see--once a month--evening--oh!" He snapped his fingers. "I think I know what it is! You're PMSing!"

A blank stare was followed by a loud smack to the Black's head.

"Ow! Okay, let's see--uh--" He rubbed his tender head before he snapped his fingers again. "You're secretly smuggling goods!"

"..." 

_THWAP._

"Owwww! Remus!"

"Here's a clue--it involves the moon."

Sirius made a face as he thought of what it could be.

Dawning realization appeared on his face. "No way--"

Remus nodded.

"You're an alien?!"

"..."

_THWAP._

"Owww! Remus!"


	32. Misdeed

**Status:** 32/45**  
Word Count:** 248  
**Theme:** Misdeed

"Do it!" Sirius prodded, voice laced with deviousness.

"I will! Let me find the bloody prat first!" James glanced around, eyes glowing and mouth twisted into an evil grin.

"Do what?" Remus prodded as well, watching both boys warily.

"There he is!" Sirius lunged forward over James and pointed. "Do it! Do it!"

"I will! Give me a minute, you wanker!"

"Do what?!" Remus cried out only to be hushed.

"It's gold, Remus. Just watch and see!" Peter clapped his hands gleefully.

Remus hesitated, but decided to watch anyway.

Sirius couldn't take it anymore. He finally burst. "Let's go!" With that, he grabbed the slightly hesitant James and bee-lined for an oblivious Severus Snape.

It happened so fast. One minute Snape looked like he was about to hex the two, the next Remus found himself covering his mouth in a futile attempt to keep himself from laughing loudly as Snape zoomed around the Great Hall like his arse was on fire.

The loud wail from the fire alarm only promoted that idea, and didn't make matters any better. Every head had turned and pinned their gazes on the red-faced Snape, who was trying with all his might to remove the offending piece of Muggle technology.

"I kill you both! You're so dead!"

"JAMES POTTER, YOU REMOVE THAT THING FROM SNAPE'S ARSE THIS INSTANT!"

"Isn't Lily cute when she's angry?"

"If you mean cute as in psychopathic red-head with the wand aimed at your head, then yes--cute."

"POTTER!"


	33. Mishmash

**Status:** 33/45**  
Word Count:** 190  
**Theme:** Mishmash

**Notes:** If any of you get this, I will love you forever.

"Ladies," Sirius entered the room smiling brightly. "May I have your attention?"

The other three marauders leveled stares at him. The enveloping silence was broken by the random chirping of a cricket.

Sirius twitched slightly. "Well, erm, okay. Now that I have your attention, I'd like to present to you my very own invisibility cloak."

James' eyes widened. "What? You made your own?"

The Black beamed. "Yup. With a little help from my dear Remus, of course."

Remus rolled his eyes. "I merely watched. Nothing more."

"You were managing--managering--um, yeah. You were the boss." Sirius held out a black cloak. "Be amazed."

With that, he wrapped the cloak around himself.

Nothing happened.

James snickered and winked at Peter. "Wotcher, where did Sirius go?"

Peter blinked. "Um..."

Sirius pounced around the room. "You can't see me!" He ducked behind James. "Can't see me!" He rolled over to Peter and ate a chip. "Nope, can't see me still." Finally, he flopped onto Remus. "Still can't see me."

"Sirius--I can see you." The sandy haired boy smirked.

"What?"

"Wrong cloak."

Sirius slowly rolled off Remus' lap and tiptoed away silently.


	34. Missing

**Status:** 34/45**  
Word Count:** 116  
**Theme:** Missing

Sirius glanced at his clock. He bounced his foot violently on the floor, eyes shooting back and forth in intense anxiety.

He glanced at the clock again. He sighed in exasperation before he started pacing.

"Where is he? He's been gone _forever_!"

James sighed. "He hasn't. He'll be right back."

"But _when_!?" He growled.

"Give him time," Peter tried to assure him.

"I did! But he--"

The door opened and Remus entered. Sirius whirled and pounced. "Remus! You were gone for so long!"

The sandy haired boy blinked. "I was only gone for five minutes."

"Again, for so long!" Sirius hugged him. "I missed you!"

Remus growled. "Can't even use the bathroom in peace anymore."


	35. Misunderstanding

**Status:** 35/45**  
Word Count:** 343  
**Theme:** Misunderstanding  
**Notes:** Not to be taken seriously.

"I'm gay?" Remus blinked rapidly, face paling considerably. "I-I didn't know that I was gay. I mean--I am happy, yes, but a 'gay-gay'?"

Sirius nodded happily. "Of course you are! That's why we're getting married!" With that, he threw his arms up in the air just before he enveloped the werewolf in an overly affectionate hug.

Peter clasped his hands and cooed. "Aww, that's so sweet!"

James didn't think so. Instead, he was flinging his arms every which way. "I've waited all these years for you Remus and you couldn't tell me?! I feel so--so used!"

"But I didn't know I was gay!" The werewolf tried to reason. "The last time I checked I was straight!"

"Yes, as straight as this!" James held up a bent piece of candy. "Not very straight, now is it?"

"But I--"

"Well, let's see--if you're unsure as to whether you are or aren't gay, let's go for the next best thing to determine that--" James flung a finger into the air. "Quick! Get me my _gaydar_!"

"I am not gay!" Remus bellowed, startling Sirius who made a watery-eyed puppy expression.

"Y-you're not?" Sirius made his lip quiver. "No skipping in the hallways hand-in-hand?"

"No."

"No licking frosting off your face on your birthdays?"

"No."

"Oh! How about--"

"Whatever it is, no."

"Ooo," Sirius pouted.

"What are you guys doing?"

James whirled around and saw Lily with several of her girl friends. "Ah, Lily! We're trying to determine whether Remus is gay or not."

She waved a hand. "Oh it's so simple, silly. Just look at him closely. He is obviously. Which means--" All the girls' eyes widened.

Remus shook his head rapidly. "No! No! No! I'm not! Honestly, I'm not!"

"EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

Remus groaned and Sirius scowled and clung to the boy defensively. He hissed at the girls. "Back away, I don't like fangirls! He's mine!"

"OH MERLIN'S BEARD DID YOU HEAR THAT!? EEEEEEEEE..."

"Um--Sirius, they all just passed out."

"Bloody fangirls."

"YOU KILLED LILY."

"Close, but no butterbeer tonight, James."


	36. Mockery

**Status:** 36/45**  
****Word Count:** 281  
**Theme:** Mockery

"Aw, Sirius, are you pouting?" James poked his friend lightly in the shoulder and received a swat that was none too gentle in return. The Potter boy grinned nonetheless. "You _are, _aren't you?"

"Sod off."

"_Sod off!" _A voice chirped from the bed on the other side of the room.

James resisted a building snicker as Sirius glared at the source of the outburst. "Aw, it's somewhat cute though. You, Sirius Black, are pouting because Remus mocked you. You mock him all the time."

"I do not!" The Black harrumphed with indignation.

"_I do not!" _Chirped the voice again.

Sirius grabbed the closest object, which was ultimately his pillow, and flung it across the room. When he turned his back to scowl at the wall, however, he was smacked roughly on the back by the same pillow.

He turned and glared at Remus, who glared right back at him with the same expression.

"Stop it, Remus!"

_"Stop it, Remus!"_

"No really, I mean it." Sirius snarled.

"_No really, I mean it." _Remus repeated like a parrot, never once missing a beat.

Sirius's eyebrow twitched. Then he paused. Then smirked.

Swiftly, he grabbed Remus's collar and dragged him close, leaned in and--

--licked his face.

A look of horror flashed over the werewolf's face as Sirius trotted around the shocked boy victoriously. "Not so clever now are you, Remmie my boy."

Remus's eye twitched. Then he paused. Then smirked.

Swiftly, he twirled around and grabbed Sirius's collar, dragged him close, leaned in and--

"Remus, Sirius licked you. He didn't _kiss _you. Oh--um--my--that's, uh, that's a lot of tongue and uh--oh god, Peter, I think we better leave."


	37. Modest

**Status:** 37/45**  
****Word Count:** 452  
**Theme:** Modest

"Hello, Remus!"

Remus looked up and saw Lily approaching, a bright smile on her face.

Behind her was James, peering around a stack of books with a predatory look to his face, eyes glazed over. Beside him was Sirius, a smirk on his face as he kept closing the Potter's mouth every few seconds as it slowly opened and drool started to dribble down his chin. Both boys stayed behind, apparently stalking Lily (in James's case) or Remus (in Sirius's case).

Lily seated herself across the werewolf and continued to smile brightly. "My, beautiful weather, isn't it?"

Remus nodded, pulling his book closer to himself. "It is wonderful."

The girl sighed, putting on a dreamy look as she stared at the boy.

Remus felt uneasy at both the look the girl was giving him and the murderous look that James was giving him now.

Suddenly, the red head shot up. "I know! Why don't we go outside? Just _you_ and _me_, Remus. Together--" she emphasized her speech, eyes wide and twinkling mischievously as she grabbed the boy's hands and intertwined fingers. "--let's sit under that tree on that hill--the one that overlooks the lake. It's got flowers in full bloom on it. It'll be fun, it'll be--" she closed her eyes, batting them slightly flirtatiously. "--_romantic_."

Remus blinked and pulled his hands back. "Uh--I don't--I don't think we should--" He could just _feel _the desire to kill emanating off of James. Oddly, the same aura was pouring off of Sirius too now.

Lily laughed, waving a hand. "Oh Remus, always the modest one. I promise, I won't bite." She smirked. "Much."

"THAT'S IT."

Lily continued to smirk as Sirius bounded across the floor and pounced onto Remus, clinging to him like a squirrel. He hissed at the girl and wrapped his legs around Remus's waist. "He's mine, got it? Mine. M-i-n-e. All mine. You get your own boyfriend."

The smirk widened to outrageous proportions before realization dawned on Remus. It was a setup--a set up to get Sirius to admit the truth and to bring it out of the dark.

And it had worked like a charm.

Lily waved a hand. "Oh dear, I do believe I'm in distress now. Who will sit with me under the tree on that hill--the one with the flowers--overlooking the lake." A sigh escaped her lips.

There was a trail of fire left behind James after he zipped over to the table and leaned on it casually, putting on a cool face. "Did I hear a damsel in distress? I do believe I can help."

Lily looked over to Remus and winked.

He smiled back.


	38. Monotone

**Status:** 38/45**  
****Word Count:** 256  
**Theme:** Monotone

"You know, Snivellus speaks in a monotonous way."

Remus looked up from his bar of chocolate, a perplex eyebrow cocked. James blinked rapidly, staring at the Black who seemed to speak before thinking.

"I'm serious, no pun intended, but really--listen to him. I heard him ranting earlier--all monotone. It was--" He blinked. "Odd."

"Some people do, Sirius," Remus bit into his chocolate bar. "Look at some of our professors."

"Yeah, but they're _old_. Old people are supposed to talk like that. But he's, he's not--" He froze, eyes slowly landing on James. "--do you think that maybe he's not really a kid, but secretly a--_teacher_?"

"Please, really--"

"No! Really! What if he was sent out to spy on us! It could explain why we get caught so often." Sirius looked thoughtful.

Remus looked annoyed. "The only reason why you got caught the last time was because you stupidly glued your butt to a suit of armor."

"That was one time!"

"Two times--the first time I had to cut off your pant's bottoms. In fact," Remus pulled out a book, opening it up to reveal the piece of cloth.

Sirius and James both blinked. "You use that as a bookmark?!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I am most amused by the fact that you're both shocked that I'm using it as a bookmark, never mind the fact that I still _have_it."

"Oh, I'm curious about that too."

"I'm saving it for Snape. Maybe it'll break his monotonous ways."

"Oh snap."


	39. Moony

**Status:** 39/45  
**Word Count:** 510  
**Theme:** Moony  
**Notes:** Moony has a dirty mouth more towards the end.

"Come on, Remus, we have to give you a nickname."

"You lot are nothing more than a group of persistent buggers that like to irritate me, don't you?"

Three faces smiled back at him cheerfully. "Yup!" They cried in unison.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Fine. It doesn't really matter anyways, you all would get together and make one for me anyway. At least by giving my consent I can decide whether or not it's decent or just--" he eyed Sirius who smirked at him with his teeth showing. "--improper."

"Okay, we came up with a list--"

"--we did?"

"You mean you didn't write it down?!"

"I don't write stuff!"

"So I've NOTICED."

"Who's the one usually writing?"

"…Remus."

"I'm not participating in this argument, thank you. But I will continue to eavesdrop when names start coming."

"Okay, we made a _mental _list," James corrected himself, "of names for you. How about Lupine?"

"I'm not a flower."

Sirius poked him gently. "You're fragile like one."

"I am not."

"Pansy."

"Again, I am not a flower."

Sirius sputtered as James continued. "Lupus."

Remus wilted. "I may be a werewolf, but I don't have a disease."

James made an apologetic smile as Peter popped in. "Luna?"

Three sets of eyes stared at him. He cringed. "I was thinking if we're going to give him a name, we give him something that's sort of related to the moon."

Remus shrugged. "He's got a point. But--Luna's too girly."

"And you're not?"

"Sirius, make one more comment and you're new nickname will be 'Dickless'."

Sirius eeped and held a book in front of him when James snapped his fingers. "Lunar."

The werewolf waved his hands. "Let's just get out of the 'l's please. It just seems to me all you guys are trying is to call me a loser, which I am not one of. Try something that is different entirely."

Peter began to list off random ideas. "Wolfie, Snowy, Mounty, Loopy, Loony, Moony--"

James grabbed the boy's shoulders and shook him. "What was that last one?"

The boy blinked rapidly. "M-m-moony?"

Remus quirked a brow. "Moony? Sounds--odd."

Sirius grinned. "I like it. 'Moony'. It rolls off the tongue."

The werewolf made a scowl. "Knowing you, you'd come up with something nasty with it. Let's think of something else."

"What, would you prefer Buttmunch instead?" The Black leant on him and peered into his face. "It's either Moony or Buttmunch."

Remus glared. "I don't munch on butts!"

Sirius turned and pointed at Remus. "He don't munch on butts. Boy is he out of it on those full moons."

The werewolf stared at the ceiling. "Why did I suddenly develop an urge to rush into the bathroom and brush my teeth for the next three days?"

James gently punched the boy's shoulder. "He's just joking. Moony it is."

"Moony," The boy smiled. "You know, I think I'm starting to like it."

"Now, we need to make a nickname for Sirius."

"I vote for Dickless."

"You are so cruel, Moony!"

"It's either Dickless or Buttmunch, take your pick."


	40. Morning

**Status:** 40/45  
**Word Count:** 364  
**Theme:** Morning

The bed was so comfortable. It was warm and comfortable.

Sirius snuggled deep into the sheets, curling them around his body as he himself curled into a ball with a smile. Ah, this was the life. It was sweet, sweet, Saturday, made for sleeping in until noon (can't miss lunch, now can we?) and fooling around in the castle (and on the grounds, rain or shine).

There was a creak of a floorboard outside of his bed and Sirius ignored it, opting to continue to stay in his semi-conscious state of bliss. It was probably Peter, getting up to go to the loo. Or James heading out for an early round of Lily stalking. Or Remus to--

"Rise and shine, Padfoot, it's a beautiful day and you're sleeping it away."

A black eye shot open and glared up at the werewolf who was smiling happily, quite pleased with himself. He was already dressed in his usual attire and had a book tucked under his arm.

Sirius flipped over so his back was to the boy. "Go away. Sleeping. Shh."

"No, wake. Now." Remus tugged the covers off him and Sirius was instantly hit with a chilly breeze across his exposed stomach. He made a sound of discomfort and inched towards the foot of his bed where most of the blankets were now thanks to Remus.

"Uh uh. Get up. It's morning. James and Peter are already up and had breakfast. I let you sleep in an hour. It's eight. Rise and shine."

"Eight!?! Much to early. Sleepy. Now." Sirius pulled his shirt down and tucked his legs into it as he curled into a little ball.

Remus sighed. "Fine, sleepy now. I'll just eat your breakfast." He turned to leave but a hand grabbed the back of his robe and dragged him to the bed.

"Touch my food and you're going to lose a certain chocolate stash."

"Would it still matter if I said that I ate my entire chocolate stash last night?"

"…yes. I'll eat you." Sirius rose up and started to gnaw on Remus's shoulder.

Remus rolled his eyes and wondered why he volunteered to wake up Sirius in the first place.


	41. Mother

**Status:** 41/45  
**Word Count:** 611  
**Theme:** Mother

"Hey Moony," Peter slid into the empty seat beside Remus with a grin plastered on his face. He watched his friend write for a moment before he chirped. "Whatcha doing?"

"Writing a letter to my mom," Remus replied good naturedly as James and Sirius slid onto the bench across from them.

Sirius scoffed. "Why?"

"Because Mother's Day is tomorrow," Remus quirked an eyebrow at the boy's words, but didn't look up from what he was doing.

James smiled fondly. "I sent my mom some chocolates. She'll have a fit claiming that I'm trying to get her fat. I think we all know that'll never happen. She's too hyperactive for that."

Peter look at Sirius again. "What are you sending your mom?"

Sirius blew a raspberry. "Poison? Maybe a howler or two for some good measure and extra love. God, I hate her."

James and Peter looked up in alarm and Remus froze in mid-sentence, quill trembling as his fingers seized up and turned white from gripping so hard. The werewolf spared a glance up at the Black through his fringe and noticed that Sirius seemed oblivious to the seriousness of his comment. Remus swallowed and willed himself to calm down and continue writing, but the flow of words seemed frozen, forgotten, or lost.

James seemed to notice this and clapped a hand onto Remus's back. "It's honorable that you're doing this for your mom, Remus, considering the circumstances, you know? Hey! Can I send her something? Mrs. Lupin makes some of the best chocolate cakes, and I wanted to thank her. She's kind of like a mom to me, too."

Remus made a confused expression but Peter lept in too. "Oh! Can I also? Her waffles are delicious. So fluffy and yummy! I like the ones she puts the little bits of strawberry in."

He smiled awkwardly and nodded. "Well, I--suppose--"

"Why don't we put this all into one big package? From the Marauders, to Remus's awesome mom. Happy Mother's Day!" James swept a hand to emphasize the visual he had in his mind.

Sirius raised an eyebrow but remained silent.

Peter nodded, clapping his hands. "That sounds terrific! Shall we go to Hogsmeade right away? We want the package to arrive in time!"

"That's right Wormtail!" James threw a fist in the air. "I declare that I'm paying postage!"

"James, that's not necessary--"

"Yes it is, when you see what I'm going to throw together." He rubbed his hands together and cackled wickedly. "You'll love it Remus, trust me. You'll want it all to yourself."

The other eyebrow crawled up Sirius's face at James's words.

Peter was on the verge of having a heart attack from the excitement. "Oh! We should surprise her! We should all go and have a dinner get together, you know? Bring her some place that she'd like!"

"_YOSH!"_

"But--" Remus flushed. "--my mom has never gone out before."

"…" The room remained silent as Peter and James shifted awkwardly.

"_'Sylvia's Sweet Shop'_," a voice chirped from across the room. The boys looked up to see Lily entering. "My mother brought me there once. Don't let the name fool you, it has more than just sweets there. It's a very nice restaurant."

Remus made a sad face. "Nice is usually expensive."

Sirius scoffed, finally taking the moment to say something. "Why are you worried about that? We're the ones pleasing your mom--that doesn't mean you have to pay for everything yourself. I can cover the dinner tab."

Gold eyes looked up in alarm as James and Peter exchanged knowing looks before giving each other a knuckle clap. Lily crossed her arms and smirked at the revelation.


	42. Motto

**Status:** 42/45  
**Word Count:** 114  
**Theme:** Motto  
**Notes:** This one is uber-short to make up for the incredible length of the last one.

"'_The Marauders--where there's trouble, you know who's the culprit'._"

"You make us sound like bloody crooks."

Sirius frowned. "Um--_'The Marauders--Pranking, it's what we do.'_"

James rubbed a thumb on his chin. "Sounds a little bit better. But we do more than just prank."

"'_The Marauders - Yeah, it's what we do.'"_

Peter shook his head. "The Slytherin would have a field day with that. Imagine the context."

Remus held up a newspaper to show that he was going to be blatantly ignore them. "And they don't now?"

Sirius threw his hands up in the air. "Fine! _'Marauders, at your bloody service!'_."

James shook his head. "No, I'm impartial to blood. How about cheese?"

"ARGH."


	43. Muggles

**Status:** 43/45  
**Word Count:** 339  
**Theme:** Muggles

"Muggles," Snape began with a hiss, "are disgusting."

James and Sirius leveled glares in Snape's general direction as they heard his voice float over the tables to theirs. Peter snorted, shoveling another mouthful of waffles into his mouth.

"He's an idiot," Sirius began. "Muggles are fascinating. Weird, but fascinating. Their technology is most unusual."

Remus remained silent, gently placing his fork onto his plate without looking up.

"Filthy little monsters, they are. They live in a trashy society where they eat trash off the streets. They are worthless."

James's scowl intensified and Sirius started mocking Snape, drawing little Snape figures on his napkin and adding various appendages, such as a sausage sticking out of his forehead, and a piñata shooting out of his nose. Oh, can't forget the fork coming out of the ass.

"Know what's worse than a Muggle?" He quirked an eyebrow and looked right over to the Marauders and sneered. "_Mudbloods_."

Remus, who had resumed eating, screeched his knife and fork on his plate loudly. Just to spite everyone, he continued to run the metal object so it sounded like fingernails dragging down an old, dusty, chalkboard.

He only stopped after Snape let out a squawk. He looked over and sneered. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt your ears? Didn't mean to. My_sincerest_ apologies, Snivvy." With that, he placed his knife and fork down onto the table and took a swig of water.

Sirius blinked. "What was that for? I was rooting for you, really, but wow--I've never seen you like that before."

Remus placed his glass onto the table and wiped his chin of access water. "My mother is a Muggle." He looked over to Lily's table and nodded towards her. "And both of her parents are Muggles." His eyebrow twitched. "Snape is just being a ponce. He starts up again, I won't be responsible for what happens."

James and Sirius exchanged glances of surprise as the werewolf rose from the table and left the Great Hall in a flurry of robes and fury.


	44. Mystery

**Status:** 44/45  
**Word Count:** 424  
**Theme:** Mystery

Lily quirked an eyebrow at the large crowd of people huddled together whispering loudly. She listened carefully and picked out several key words--

'_James.'_

'_Peter.'_

'_Sirius.'_

'_Snape.'_

'_Remus.'_

'_Medical wing.'_

Worry clenched at her stomach as she stormed through the crowd, rushing towards the medical wing. Either the boys got into a fight again and they all ended up in the hospital, or they hurt Snape really badly. Though Remus, he would've stopped it, right?

Right?

Upon running in, not everything was what it appeared.

Four heads turned and stared at her, three gazes filled with incredible rage and one filled with meek satisfaction.

Sirius.

Peter.

James.

Snape.

_Wait, where's Remus?_

She looked over their shoulders and saw, wrapped in bandages, one Remus Lupin, seemingly unconscious.

"--hello, Lily." He murmured softly, wincing in pain.

She frowned, shoving the boys out of the way and was instantly by his side. "Remus--what happened? Are you all right?" She whirled and snarled at the others. "What happened?! Why is he like this?!"

Sirius crossed his arms and scowled. "Ask Snivellus. He's the one that drew the wand first."

Lily grabbed the collar of his shirt and shoved her face right into his. "I don't care who drew the wand first, I want to know why he looks like a bloody mummy!"

"Lily, don't--don't get mad." Remus pleaded, eyes sad. "It wasn't their fault. I was foolish."

She looked at him, returning to his side and clasping a hand. "Remus, why do you stick up for them? Look at what they did to you."

He looked away, frowning. "They didn't do this to me. I--I did this."

A horrified expression appeared on her face. "But…that doesn't make sense. Why would you--"

"--it's best we leave it as a mystery. For now." He smiled weakly at her. "I'll explain to you in the future. For now, it's best that things remain unsaid or unexplained. I'll be fine, Lily. Really. Snape was only trying to stop me, and Sirius got irritated that he didn't get to me first. That's all that they did. The rest was my own doing."

Her eyes watered and she sighed. "All right, I'll leave it be for now. But--you have to promise, you absolutely _have_to tell me, promise?"

He nodded.

Lily smiled and left reluctantly, watching the boy the whole time she walked out.

Just as she left, James lent in towards Remus and smiled. "Isn't she amazing?"

"I see what you mean, Prongs."

"Hey, hands off. I called dibs back in first year."


	45. Mischief Managed

**Status:** 45/45  
**Word Count:** 359  
**Theme:** Mischief Managed

"It's that time, boys." Sirius sadly threw his arms over Remus's and James's shoulders and sighed. "It's the last day of seventh year. We've graduated. We've got nothing left to do here."

James stepped forward, throwing an arm dramatically over his eyes. "Oh woah! The time was fast, too short! We had just barely begun our adventure, and we are already moving on. The future--it is so unkind." Lily, who had been standing off to the side watching, approaching and took a hold of his arm and smiled at him. James looked down and smiled back, sheepishly correcting himself. "Ooooor maybe it has been very good to me."

"You know what this means, though, right?" Sirius clapped his hands together and grinned. "We had started our adventure with a bang, therefore that's how we should end it."

"How?" Remus quirked an eyebrow. "Everything is in the carriages. It's pointless to take everything out and--"

"Peter, release--the beast!" Sirius bellowed, alarming several nearby students, and one teacher (McGonagall looked up in alarm, normally narrowed eyes widened into saucers).

A simple little click sounded before all hell broke loose.

Fireworks began shooting out every visible window from the castle, several shot up from the towers, and some careened across the water and shot towards the group of students. Screams of terror filled the air as students, graduates, and teachers fled in an attempt to avoid being blown up.

McGonagall was by Sirius's side in a heartbeat. "Sirius Black! I hope you're proud of yourself! You've yet again managed to destroy the school!"

"I did not, it's still standing." He corrected.

Her mouth opened in retort, but she closed it instead and scowled. "I am thrilled that you're gone. I am not thrilled that I can't send you to detention anymore. That is something I will surely miss. My desks have never been so clean until you came here." She huffed and left, hurrying off to stop the chaos.

Dumbledore appeared beside Remus and smiled. "It's so pretty, quite a lovely spectacle, I do say so myself." He popped a candy into his mouth before turning to the Marauders. "Lemon drop anyone?"

**-The End-**

* * *

_**Author's Note:**__  
Yes, it's the end. This series was fun to write. I loved every minute of it. I may write additional Marauder drabbles in the future, but I'm not making any promises (I have a HUGE list of things to do regarding fan fiction. So bare with me!)_

_Thank you all, though, and thank you for your support, reviews, viewings, comments, etc. And--to Tripsyr for stalking me and forcing me to finish. This--was for you. _

_**-Mint Pizza Queen**_


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